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On your due date.

The room was silent.
All of us seeking a short escape in our screens for a minute, or two...
Talk of everything else, but.

Trying to laugh at other things.
You stared.
You got your first wave of pain and cold sweats.
Your mother held your head to her chest and wiped her tears and yours off your face.

He tried to hold the pieces of you together.
As the pieces were breaking from him, too. 
“I don’t want to do this!”
Then the rest of the room broke, too.

What does one say? 
Nothing.
You just sit.
You just be there. 
You avoid eye contact, 
but you just be there. 

Silence. 
(Aside from the pang of 4 measures of Brahms's Lullaby every so often in the background).
Rest.

Waiting room chairs at 5:00am.
Waiting room chairs at 10:00am
Silence.
Rest.

....for us.
Writhing for you.
Excruciating soul and body.

10:43pm. He’s Here.

Except not really.
His almost body was here,
Yet he was with his knitter.
Who made him perfect.
In his mother's womb.
A purpose yet unknown.
But a purpose so grand.

There is no footprint so small that it does not leave an imprint on this world.
Baby Barrett.
Baby Bear.
You. Are. So. Loved.
ARE because you are alive and perfect, just not here.

Hello and goodbye in the same day. 5.31.19
There’ll be a day we say hello again, and never goodbye.

... and the tears shed in that room.
on that day...
on the many days beyond that day
today perhaps-- On your due date.

They fill up many jars 
Each tear numbered by El Roi
A day is coming
They will be wiped away. 
Every single one.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

I hope I never forget the way you say Thank you (que que), Please (pease), Sandwich (mishhit), Chocolate (cocket/cocky), Socks (kocks.. 😅), Spoon (boon), waffles (awfuls), Cereal (Searrrl), Milk (morks), Sweet Tea (peet tea), Doggy (gawgy), Potatoes (toes), guitar (ba-tar), Flip Flops (fip fops), Diaper (die-doo),

It blows my mind that you know your colors, and can count to ten with a little help when you want to. You are so smart!

Still no obvious “I love you” from you and potty training has been put on hold even though you were very close. Pacy addiction has gotten a little stronger too 🤷🏻‍♀️

Who you are now is a little boy in love with cars and “big trucks.” These photos show exactly that… always a car in hand even when you sleep. ‘Queen, Dorm, Cruse, Blue, and Geen.

Also you love playing in water and putting your cars in water. It was actually kind of perfect that our family photo day got cut short by the downpour— you just lit up!

You have so much personality! you love to laugh and dance, shake your booty, imitate your favorite movies, chase mommy and daddy, get chased by mommy and daddy, tell mommy to “UP!” when she’s just trying to sleep for a few more minutes, play the drums and piano, hide your cars then forget where they are and beg mommy to find them 🤔, “workout” with mommy which consists of you doing a couple leg kicks while planking, then jumping on mommy’s back while she tries to do push ups 😑, your cars have to get their teeth brushed before it’s cool enough for you to brush your teeth, and when you won’t go to sleep at night you get a personal puppet show from mama with Mickey, Donald, and Pluto praying with you, playing with you, and begging you to go “night night” with them… (it works mostly… even with my terrible Donald Duck impersonation 😂) oh, and that reminds me…. you’re back to sleeping in our bed as of last week 🙃

Look at that hair! I am just not quite ready to cut those curls off because I once had those same blonde little curls.

I’m not sure I’m ready to “have another one” since everyone thinks it’s “about that time” because I’m so afraid you’ll start growing up even faster and something about you may go unnoticed. I don’t want to miss a thing, Liam Quinn Lott.

So, in the mean time, keep reaching your hands up at me and saying “Hold you?” Or insisting that we hold hands on long drives when it’s just me and you in the car even though it is sometimes painful. Because one day you won’t like that anymore. By the way, you have no idea how easily that gets you out of trouble. 😭

I love you so very much, buddy. Can’t believe you’ve been two for a whole month!

Here’s your “Two” photoshoot photos!
https://www.facebook.com/raedio4/media_set?set=a.10160763691765430&type=3

Downtown Mobile, Al. Inspired Wedding Shoot @ The Pillars | RDL Photography

Let me preface this with this: I don’t like to blog, BUT! I do plan to start blogging a little bit more here and there to get a little bit more personal. Plus, if it’s as monumental as this time last weekend was, it is blog worthy!

Last Saturday around this time, I took these photos of the most amazing fake wedding thanks to my friend from college Abigail Wellinghurst of Abigail Wellinghurst Photography (www.awellinghurst.com) who put on the entire shindig. Her workshop was basically a crash course on all things I should know as someone new to the business. I drove 6 hours all the way back home ready to take on the world with my camera.

Our “class” was held in one of the rooms of The Pillars of Mobile which is so beautiful all over. Each room is antique–like chandeliers all over the place. I wish I could snatch up the building and put it right in my back yard, or at least somewhere closer to Jacksonville.

Then there’s the florals… the dress…. the models… OH MY. I’ll just let the pictures speak for themselves because AP English sucked all of my writing skills circa 10 years ago.

The creatives behind it all:

Venue – The Pillars of Mobile

Workshop Lead- Abigail Wellinghurst Photography

Styling & Design – Jubilee Events & Design

Floral Design – Wildflower Wedding Co.

Gown – Bella Bridesmaids

Calligraphy – Scripts by Sarah

Make Up – Chelsea Fowler

Hair – Alexandra Taylor

Female Model: Veronica Ginn

Male Model: Yosef Aborady

Find more of my work at http://www.RDL-Photography.com or follow me on Instagram @rdl.photography. Feel free to contact me for any photography related needs. ❤

P.S. I wrote this with an 18 month old wrapped around my leg, so read this with grace!

One.

Liam,

Over the past year, you have turned my world completely upside down, yet right-side up. Though you were an “accidental surprise,” your conception and entrance into this world couldn’t have been more timely. You saved me from me. On July 28th 2016, my journey as your mother began solely by God’s amazing grace. I never knew how easily my heart could evolve to love something so fiercely. The preciousness of life has never been so vivid. I’m floored at every “new” thing you learn and do, even if it’s something as simple as pointing your finger or feeding yourself. I am so excited to watch how the years unfold, but I pray they happen slowly. PLEASE GOD, let them come slowly.

We found out you were coming the Sunday before Christmas 2015. We told our family on Valentine’s Day 2016. A few days after Valentines Day, I had my first ultrasound and found out you had been growing for almost 4 months and you were a BOY! Here’s where we told the world March 10, 2016:

Here you are at the hospital.

Week one.

Week two.

Week three. (Nicole Stanland Photography. More here)

Month one.

Month two.

Month three.

you weren’t too happy, so we tried again the next day…

Month four. (Trying Manual out)

With Santa:

Month five. (50mm 1.8 lens from Santa, and finally understanding manual…kinda)

MONTH 6!

Month seven.

Month eight.

Month nine.

Month ten.

Month eleven.

and finally……

YEAR ONE! (Sony A7RII + 90mm macro 2.8 and Sigma 35mm 1.4…all rented of course). Because I couldn’t choose 3 favorites, you get 250+ favorites. Sorry, not sorry! Click the link above, or the image below, and it will take you to the rest!

https://rdlphotography.pixieset.com/wildone/

RDL Photography

On your due date.

10:43pm. He’s Here.

Hello and goodbye in the same day. 5.31.19
There’ll be a day we say hello again, and never goodbye.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Two.

Downtown Mobile, Al. Inspired Wedding Shoot @ The Pillars | RDL Photography

One.

Liam,

I can’t believe it.

10:43pm. He’s Here.

Hello and goodbye in the same day. 5.31.19There’ll be a day we say hello again, and never goodbye.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Liam,

I can’t believe it.

Hello and goodbye in the same day. 5.31.19
There’ll be a day we say hello again, and never goodbye.